I read the news last week with shock at the sudden death of Gary Speed. I didn’t really follow him, or watch football, but it was so sad to hear that he had taken his own life and left a wife and two children.
It made me stop in my tracks as I have been on the periphery of a similar situation this year and it brought me back to that fresh, raw emotion and how difficult it was for all involved.
People who say that a person who takes their own life are selfish, and yes, they are, because they leave utter devastation behind and it leaves tremors for months even years to come, BUT, when a person chooses to take their own life I do not think for one minute that they are believing that they are being selfish, and that they believe that they are doing what is right for them and for those involved around them, and that if they don’t, then the world is going to come crashing down around them.
Who knows what urged Speed to do what he did, and it is tragic from the outside looking in. Here is a man who had everything, loved by family and friends, popular with so many and given opportunities that people can only dream of, but we just don’t know what was really going on behind those eyes, that smile, those words. He was on the television just a few hours before- did he know he was going to end it all within a short time later or was it a cry for help that went wrong, or a split decision needing a quick solution?
Whatever the reason, it needs to be made clear that when a person ends their life through choice, it is because they believe that they are doing the right thing.
Would we have the suicide rate we have if we were allowed to have a set up like ‘dignitas’?
Yes I think we would. Suicides can be planned, or split decisions, but some can plan days, months or longer to make a decision as to what they are going to do, and some with very clear thinking, but some are those who are medically dealing with mental health issues such as depression, bi polar, schizophrenia etc. So does it mean that everyone who commits suicide is depressed? Depression is simply put, as a chemical imbalance in the brain. It has a massive and often devastating effect on a persons mind to make them believe that what they are thinking or rationalising is right. Without intervention the symptoms can become so severe that suicide seems the only option, and they decide the way in which they can do this with some ease.
Others, it can be argued, are not suffering with a mental health condition, and are just very clear in their minds what they need to do is what they believe to be the right thing to do as there is no way out, or want to elevate suffering of either themselves or others around them.
So when someone says ‘people who commit suicide are selfish’, then yes, perhaps they are, but just remember that they believe what they are doing is the right thing to do.
RIP Gary Speed and to all the others out there that don’t have a high profile but are or have taken that decision.
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